Ms. Nurse-Practitioner-to-the-Gastroenterologist

I've almost gotten to the point where a doctor's appointment is a form of entertainment.

My primary doctor referred me to the gastroenterologist because of my fructose intolerance and history of irritable bowel syndrome. Of course, by the time I actually got in to see the nurse practitioner, I had reversed my B vitamin deficiency and cleared up the fructose intolerance. The main reason then for me to continue on to the GI doctor was to try to figure out why I was not properly absorbing nutrients (B vitamins, magnesium, zinc, molybdenum), the main problem that week of a volatile magnesium level.

She had asked me to bring in all of my medications-- so I brought my box of vitamins and supplements. I'm on no medications.

"What do you have in the box?"

"This is molybdenum."

"Why do you take that?"

"Well, let me tell you the entire story..." so I gave her a brief version of the story, focusing on GI issues.

To her credit, she seemed to listen intently.

When I finished my story, she said, "You're having numbness, so I think you need to see a neurologist."

"Okay, but why am I having trouble absorbing nutrients?"

"Why do you think you are having trouble with absorption?"

"Because I'm nutrient deficient."

"Who told you that?"

"The lab report told me that."

"From which lab?"

I said the local hospital's main laboratory.

She leaned forward just a little, "Have you been on the internet?" she asked, in such a tone of voice that could have said, "Have you been smoking pot?" or "Do you talk to the voices in your head often?"

"Yes, I've done a tremendous amount of research."

"It's just that no one has ever heard of this 'molybdenum.' Not your primary doctor, not the first allergist, not the second allergist, and not me."

"But just because you've never heard of it doesn't mean that it doesn't exist."

"But if you're using the internet..."

"I have a background in health research. I know how to read a study and understand the statistics. I know how to decide what studies are legitimate and what needs to be thrown in the garbage. I researched and figured out the fructose intolerance and made more advances in healing my irritable bowel syndrome than any of the GI doctors in Tallahassee. My research has been a great benefit to me."

"It's true that fructose can cause diarrhea."

"And I was able to eliminate the intolerance with B vitamins."

"What's that rash all over your neck?"

"It's a stress reaction."

"Oh, stress. How old are your children?"

"The oldest is eleven."

"Oh, you are soooo busy....."

I could see where this was going.

"I don't need someone to tell me that I'm stressed out. I need someone to help with my nutrient absorption and, specifically right now, my magnesium levels."

"If you think you have a problem with absorbing nutrients, you could go to the Mayo clinic. I just don't think there's anything we can do to help you. I just don't know anything about sulfite sensitivity and molybdenum. I can google it for you if you'd like."

"Okay."

"So you'll get back in touch with me if you decide to you need a referral, okay?"

"Sure."

I walked out with my diagnosis of Irritable Bowel Syndrome and a note to call back for a referral to the Mayo Clinic.

So, apparently, it's terribly stupid for me to do my own research. To scour the internet for answers and to apply my learning to my life. As of this writing, I've devoted almost 200 hours to the metaresearch of sulfite sensitivities. She thinks that's foolish-- "Have you been on the internet?"--However, she can just "google" some things for me. And that's okay. 

Seriously?

I laughed my way to the car.

If this weren't so real, it would almost be funny.